


I'd be so alone without you (maybe you'd be lonesome too)

by minttobe_treehill



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Cute, First Date, Fluff, I apologize in advance, I mean Alec embarrasses himself a couple of times but that's it, I'm embarrassing myself now wow, M/M, Maybe a little angst? I wouldn't count it as angst, This probably sucks big time compared to the amazing Malec fics out there but okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 04:53:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9584414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minttobe_treehill/pseuds/minttobe_treehill
Summary: "Would you like to go on that date that never seems to actually happen?"Yeah, sure. I...""Alec""Yes. I'd love to"Or, Magnus and Alec's first date.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. This is my very first fic and I'm terrified to post it. Anyway, this is spoiler free - I mean they play pool (kind of) but that's it. There might be a lot of mistakes (sorry!); turns out writing a whole fic in English isn't as easy as I expected. I haven't read the books (yet?) so I'm so sorry if I messed up their personalities. 
> 
> Title from Jason Wade's song "You Belong To Me" (I just changed it a little).

 “How’s Clary?”

Clearly, Alec was still upset about everything that happened with Jocelyn and the demon attack at the institute.

“She’s still trying to figure everything out, I guess” said Jace. “She’s in her bedroom. I tried to check on her like an hour ago but she wants to be alone”.

Isabelle nodded. The three of them were in the institute, but in their own bubble, with their heads everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

The look on Jace’s face gave everything away these days: he was worried about Clary, but he was also trying to take care of Alec’s demons, silently reminding him it wasn’t his fault.

Alec’s phone started ringing in his pocket. Frowning, he accepted the call.

“Magnus? Is everything alright?”

“Hello to you too, Alexander”. Alec could see the smirk on his face.

“Sorry. It seems like these days everything is bad news”. He was relieved, honestly. Not even a shadowhunter could take any more bad news these days.

“Well, I really hope what I’m about to ask you doesn’t come as bad news, but as best news ever…”. There was silence for a few seconds. Alec figured it was Magnus’ way to give him some space in case he wasn’t ready for whatever it was about to happen.

“I just finished with my last client of the day, so I was wondering… Would you like to go on that date that never seems to actually happen?”

Alec blushed. It was _that_ easy. He turned away from Jace and Izzy, who were already smirking and started walking on the opposite direction, not really going anywhere. And then he actually let himself relax and smile for a second, but words got caught up on his throat.

“Yeah, sure. I… I’m at the institute right now, and I think I’m not going to be needed here, at least not for the day. You know with… with everything happening, I don’t really know if something’s going to suddenly like, you know, come up or something so-”

“Alec”

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips together for a moment, mentally kicking himself. He stopped pacing around and finally answered.

“Yes. I’d love to. I’ll… I’ll be at yours in a few minutes”

“I could open up a portal for you”

“No. I could really use some air right now”, Alec said, almost already leaving the institute without even saying goodbye to Jace or Izzy.

“Am I that overwhelming, Alexander?”. A smirk printed all over his words, _again_.

“Bye, Magnus”. He was so _not_ rolling his eyes and blushing.

-*-

Centuries in this world didn’t feel enough to know what to expect when it came to Alexander Lightwood. The truth is Magnus had never met anyone quite like Alec, and he did _not_ mean that in a cheesy way. Magnus had always been with people everyone would notice in a crowded room: they were loud, extroverted; always wanting to _be noticed._ Camille was the perfect example of it. But Alec? Alec hated attention. But he was tall and good with his bow and arrows, so he accidentally drew attention. The problem with Alec was, well… The _thing_ with Alec was that once you saw him, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him, you wouldn’t even want to.

Magnus heard a knock on his door and all his thoughts became fuzzy. Right, _Alexander_.

He came up the door and just opened it, fidgeting with a string of his hair that wasn’t on its place.

“Alexander, the door was open. You know it’s always open for _you_ ”. He emphasized on the last word on purpose. Most of the times, it was better to be a little bald when talking to Alec. It was endearing, honestly.

He smiled. He _smiled_. Like, properly. Magnus was taken aback. His day was definitely only going to improve.

“I… I just didn’t want to interrupt. Sorry”

And now was Magnus’ time to smile. So he did, kindly. He fully opened the door, letting Alec into his living room.

“I’m just going to finish up, you are here earlier than I expected y-”

“Oh, sorry”. Alec looked completely horrified and embarrassed.

Magnus took a step forward and took Alec’s wrist so softly in his right hand, “You have nothing to apologize for, dear. It’s an honor to have you here”. He smiled looking at Alec’s eyes. What he actually meant was, _“it’s amazing you’re eager to spend time with me”_ , but Magnus was learning when to be bald when Alec and when to take it a step at a time.

Alec blushed in the most endearing way possible. He pressed his lips together and nodded slightly.

Magnus let go of his wrist. “Pour yourself a drink if you want, it’ll be just a minute”, he added before leaving the living room.

He checked himself on the mirror and continued to straight his clothes, hair and make-up. To be honest, he had been thinking where to take Alec. He wanted it to be a surprise, so he had to come up with something new. With everything going on, he felt like it’d be out of place to be too fancy. If he was honest with himself, he’d stayed right there in the loft and spend the whole evening – and night, who was he kidding? – talking to Alec, and maybe, _just maybe_ , going a little bit further with him. So he had decided on something simple and nice. _Done_.

“Shall we?”

Alec was just where Magnus had left him, looking around, with his hands lazed on his back. He gave Magnus one of his – _oh, so endearing_ – lopsided smiles and they both disappeared through a portal.

-*-

Well, it wasn’t what he had expected. It was a bar. Just a bar. Alec looked around, waiting for colored lights to blind his eyes or loud music to suddenly burst. But that didn’t happen.

“Beer?”

“What?”

“Alec, I’m just asking you if you want a beer”

“Oh, yeah, thanks”

Alec was aware his head would start hurting if he didn’t make his frown disappear, but honestly, he couldn’t help it. When he agreed on having a date with Magnus, he was expecting something big, well, _something way bigger than him_. But it was a bar, a beer, people minding their own business, a pool table, mild lighting, low music. He was expecting Marrakech, _actually_.

“Why are we here?”

Magnus almost dropped their drinks.

Alec followed him into a table in the corner, where Magnus left their drinks before sitting down in one of the chairs that were facing each other.

“Sit down, Alexander”

Alec sat down, “I… I didn’t mean to come up harsh, sorry, it’s just… I…”

Magnus waited. He was staring at Alec with a little frown; he clearly wasn’t getting anything the shadowhunter was trying to say, but he remained silent. Alec was actually relieved.

“You suggested going to a different country to have dinner, so I… I don’t understand”

“You’re not comfortable here?”. Magnus sounded worried. _Oh, no. No, no, no._

“No! No, I’m fine, I’m brilliant. It’s just… Just because I’m not as… exciting as you, or as your life is, doesn’t mean y-”

“Alexander”

He sounded almost offended. Well, he _looked_ offended. This wasn’t how Alec was planning on spending time with him.

“You can’t control everything”

Alec was already looking at him, but after that his stare was even more intense.

“Yes, I took us here because I knew, well I _hoped_ you’d feel more comfortable. Why can’t you accept that?”

“I can accept that. I just…”

Alec gave up. His shoulders gave in and his frown disappeared. He started fidgeting with his glass, but suddenly his hand was covered with Magnus’. He looked up.

“Stop worrying, Alexander. Let’s start again. Now, tell me where you’d taken me in our first date”. He kindly smiled and started drawing circles in Alec’s hand.

Alec looked at their hands, “we’d have stayed at your loft”. He was actually proud of himself, he’d managed to say that without hesitating. But he made the mistake of looking up at Magnus, who had the smuggest expression on his face.

“Oh, no, no, I didn’t mean that…”. He was so embarrassed it actually hurt. He hid his face on the palm of his left hand, the one Magnus wasn’t holding.

They were both laughing, Alec out of embarrassment and Magnus… Well, Magnus looked happy, which was enough.

-*-

There were four glasses in the table. They were empty, but the moon was already out in the sky.

“Tell me something about your childhood”

Magnus felt how gentle his own voice was. He was using his left hand – the one that hours ago was holding Alec’s – to support his chin. He felt something in the pit of his stomach, something warm.

Honestly, Alec was a masterpiece in that exact moment. He had a lopsided smile on his face – twice in one evening, wow. He looked ungainly, his back wasn’t straight and his long legs were all over the place. Alexander Lightwood looked relaxed.

He smiled, “I… I remember one time I was training with Izzy and Jace. Well, we weren’t really training, we were mostly playing, but still. And then we realized our parents were watching us, so we actually stopped playing, but Izzy…”. Alec started laughing, actually laughing, and Magnus couldn’t feel better. “…Izzy tripped and fell to the ground, and Jace and I knew how embarrassed she was, so we looked at each other and literally threw ourselves to the ground and started laughing along with her so she didn’t feel bad”

Magnus bit his bottom lip, he couldn’t help it. Alec looked at him through his lashes, and unreadable look on his face.

“You’re delightful, Alexander. You know, there were times I hated being immortal – there’s still times I can’t stand it. But now… Right now, I’m so happy I’ve had enough time to be here and meet you”

Magnus would’ve felt vulnerable saying those words if it wasn’t for the couple of eyes looking back at him, unconsciously telling him that even if he wasn’t ready to accept them, those words were appreciated.

Alec, still struggling to speak up and trying to hide the bright blush in his neck and cheeks, move his right hand forward, searching for Magnus’ but not touching, _never touching_.

Eventually, they both found each other in the middle of the table, and Magnus felt the courage to touch Alec’s foot with his own, just barely there, but still there.

“I wish I could voice my feelings too”. He sounded sad and regretful, but his stare was intense and his features were serious. _He really meant that_.

“But you do, Alexander. You talk with your body in a way I’ve never seen anyone do. Seeing you so relaxed here, taking my hand without even thinking about it, not worrying about what’d going on the world right now… You don’t have to say anything, not when you are with me”

Alec smiled with his whole face, and suddenly the room wasn’t as dark as before.

“I want us to have some fun”

Magnus arched his eyebrows.

“Do you, now?”

He was actually doing it on purpose. He was aware Alec was being innocent, but it was way too fun to see his blush and to make him smile once again.

“Not that kind of fun, Mags”

Magnus smiled at the nickname, and it seemed like Alec didn’t realize what he’d said, which was even better. Alec’s eyes travelled to something past Magnus, and the warlock turned around. He smiled and returned his stare at the boy in front of him – whose hand was still touching his.

“I might warn you, darling, I’m very good at playing with balls”

“You’re not even trying to be subtle by now, are you?”. _By the angel, the crinkles by his eyes were beautiful._

“Humor me a bit, would you?”

And they both started laughing in their own bubble.

-*-

“Okay, you’re really good at this”

Magnus smirked right before making _another_ perfect shot.

“I told you”

Just one more shot and Magnus would win. It’s not like Alec cared, really, but there was something bothering him: he would’ve won if Magnus wouldn’t be so attractive. The moment they started playing, Alec knew he had no chance. _Sounds like a metaphor for our relationship_. Alec needed to put himself together.

“You look good tonight”

_Wow_. That wasn’t the plan at all.

Magnus, all ready to shoot and indeed win, looked up to Alec’s stare.

“What are you doing?”

But Alec just shrugged. The truth is – even if it wasn’t really planned – he knew what he was doing (maybe for the first time that evening). Two can play a game.

“I just said you look good tonight”, Alec said, trying to sound all innocent.

“No, no, no”. Magnus stood up and left the stick on the pool table, all dramatic. “What happened to not being able to voice up your feelings, huh?”

There was space between their bodies. Almost the whole pool table, actually.

“It’s not technically a feeling. It’s more like a statement”

Magnus’ smirk was there already.

“Are you trying to distract me?”

“What?”

_Okay_.

Magnus started approaching Alec, going around the table while doing a little dance with his fingers against the wood.

Alec swallowed. He was screwed.

“I’ve got my head in the game, you know?”

He was close. Never too close, but _close_.

“I’m the one with aim skills”

“Are you? I was only paying attention to that rune in your neck, so I don’t really know if you were actually good at this”

Alec widened his eyes. _What?_   This was typical of him, really. He was trying to play with the player, what did he expect?

Now they were face to face, yet not touching.

“What does it take to distract Magnus Bane?”

Alec honestly hated himself in that moment. The question was meant to be flirty, sexy, _fun_ , but it came as a whisper, almost as a plea.

“Oh, darling”

Alec could feel his heart in every part of his body. He really wanted to touch Magnus: his face, his chest, his neck.

“Nothing distracts me, actually. I’m always too busy looking at you or thinking of you to be distracted. You’re everywhere, Alexander”

Alec groaned. _Out loud_. He moved his body, but not forward, even if he was dying to do so. He leaned fully on the table, with both hands upon it, looking away from Magnus and he let himself breathe for the first time in what felt like hours. But Magnus was all over the place again, just in front of Alec, taking all the oxygen the shadowhunter _actually_ needed. Magnus’ hands were between his and his body. It felt horrifyingly intimate. And the staring continued, just like it happened at the wedding. Alec couldn’t even look anywhere else than those _freaking_ eyes.

He swallowed, “I think we should go back to the game, you… you were about to win”

And with a swift motion, Magnus reached behind Alec and put the black ball in the nearest hole before looking back at Alec again. _What the hell_.

“The game is over”

“That’s cheating!”

Magnus cocked his head and Alec could see a smirk playing on his lips.

The shadowhunter lifted his right hand and grabbed Magnus’ bicep softly. Magnus left his eyes for a second, looking at his hand and Alec could see him pursing his lips and nodding slightly, even if no question had been asked.

“I think it’s time to get back”

He didn’t look up, not even after saying those words, which was unexpected. Alec frowned and squeezed Magnus’ arm softly, silently accepting his request and pulling his hand away.

Alec was nervous, _really_.

Magnus turned around and opened up a portal for the both of them.

They were back in seconds.

“Oh”

Alec could feel Magnus’ stare on his face.

“We’re back at the institute”, said Alec.

Magnus frowned, “yeah”

“Oh, okay”

Saying Alec was the most stupid creature in the world was an understatement. They were back at the institute. The institute, _not Magnus’ loft_. Of course Magnus wasn’t going to invite him over. He literally interrupted him before their date had started, then proceeded to nag at Magnus for picking a bar for their date, and _then_ ruined a fun pool game. Yeah, _great_.

“Thank you for the date, Alec”

Magnus, _always_ a gentleman.

“No… Thank you, actually”

That, exactly _that_ , was what Alec didn’t want to happen. Awkwardness between them. He wanted to run away from him, to just disappear.

Suddenly, he noticed Izzy by the corner of his eye, not approaching them, but surely watching them. _Thank god_.

Unluckily, Alec chose the worst moment to acknowledge his sister’s presence.

“Izzy, he-”

“Well I-”

“Oh, sorry-”

“Sorry”

_Great. Just great._

Magnus looked… sad, disappointed?

“Hey, boys. Where were you? Having fun?”. The mischief on her eyes was almost painful.

“Yeah… yeah. What are you doing still up? Something happened?”

Alec was trying to ignore Magnus at this point. He couldn’t stand the look on his face knowing he was the one causing it, even if he wasn’t exactly sure why.

“Relax, nothing happened. I was actually waiting for you, I need to know all the details”. And with that, he looked at Magnus, smiling brightly and making Alec blush in the process.

With that, Alec actually dared to look at him, who was surprisingly already looking at him with a soft look on his face.

Sifting his stare from Alec to Isabelle, he said, “I hope he only tells good things”

That made Izzy smile, but Alec frowned.

“Goodnight, Lightwoods. See you around, Alexander”

And right before opening a portal and disappearing, he gripped Alec’s forearm and gave it a light squeeze. If Alec wasn’t always paying attention to Magnus’ movements, he would’ve missed it.

When Magnus was long gone, Izzy kicked Alec on his shoulder.

“What did you do?!”

“What?”

“‘See you around’? Just that? No hug or kiss? What happened?”

Alec breathed loudly through his nose. Just in that moment, he realized he needed to talk to somebody and the only person he would be able to talk about… well, about anything honestly, was exactly his sister.

“I… I don’t know, Izzy, honestly. I mean, we just had our first date and I screwed up a little bit, but… But just as I always do when I’m around him. I think I was too awkward and nervous, I don’t know…”

Alec was feeling extremely anxious. What if he had _really_ screwed everything up?

“Alec, hey”, Izzy put her hands on his shoulders, “be calm, okay? What do you want to do now?

“What? I don’t know!”

“Alec”

And with that, with Izzy’s question and her gaze on his face, he just _knew_. He understood why he hadn’t been able to be as responsive as he wanted to be after the pool game, he knew why he had made the last minutes of the date so painfully awkward: he wanted to kiss Magnus, but he didn’t know _how_. It was kind of funny if he really thought about it, because it wouldn’t be their first kiss, but it would be _the kiss_.

It felt like he was having a panic attack.

“Alec, are you alright?”

He widened his eyes and let himself breathe for a moment. Realizing he wanted to kiss Magnus wasn’t what was making him panic, it was the fact that maybe, _just maybe_ , Magnus had wanted to kiss him too. Was that the reason why he looked disappointed?

“I have to go”

He disentangled himself off of Izzy’s embrace and started walking away.

“Alec!”

“I’m going to do what I want to do. Thank you!”, he said before disappearing.

“I hope he goes kiss that man”, Isabelle breathed.

-*-

He had scared him away, _obviously_.

Magnus was checking himself on the mirror, taking the make-up away. Yeah, well, he could make it disappear with magic, but there was something about actually doing things by his own that had its own… _Magic_.

Everything was going great. He had made Alec relax, have fun, even open up himself a little bit. But then… Well, Alec looked flustered. For a moment, Magnus had thought Alec wanted to make a move, _to actually touch him_ , but… _Ugh, this boy, honestly_.

 For the second time today, his thoughts were stopped by a light knock on the door.

Who would knock in the middle of the night? Magnus stepped away from the mirror and prepared his magic. _An unpleasant visit i-_

“Magnus, it’s me, Alec”

Magnus ran to the door.

As he opened it, “Alexander, what’s wrong?”

Alec smiled, “Not everything is bad news, Mags”

“Come in, darling”. Not smiling around Alec was becoming an impossible task.

“Thank you”

Alec came into the apartment as Magnus closed the door. When he turned around, Alec was closer than expected, already looking at him.

“Look I-”

Magnus was ready to listen to whatever he had to say, but Alec stopped. He seemed like he was mentally battling a war.

Alec put his hands on the door, on both sides of Magnus’ head. _That_ , Magnus thought, _was not expected_.

“Listen, I-”

Suddenly, Alec was everywhere. He was always everywhere Magnus would turn, but in that moment he was also physically _everywhere_. Their noses were almost touching and Magnus could feel his breath and his heartbeat. He put his hands in the younger’s chest, under his jacket but above his green sweater. Alec was warm all over.

Alec exchanged his right hand and put it to the space between Magnus’ cheek and neck. _Come on, Alexander_.

And just as if Alec had heard him, he lunged forward and kissed him on the lips. It was an innocent kiss, just lips on lips, but Alec was grabbing Magnus’ face with such passion and desire it felt way more intimate.

Magnus’ hands travelled all the way through Alec’s chest to his neck and let them rest there, not pressuring him into anything.

The truth is, the wedding kiss felt nothing like this one. This kiss wasn’t rushed and wasn’t meant to prove anything to anybody. It had no aims, the mere action was the goal itself. Alec felt even warmer than before and Magnus felt like he couldn’t move – he didn’t want to actually: that was what immortality felt like, being stuck but feeling free at the same time. Kissing Alec made him feel maybe immortality wasn’t a curse after all.

When Magnus’ heart started beating in a more steady rhythm, the kiss was over.

Alec was still everywhere.

-*-

Alec opened his eyes; he was not ready for what was waiting for him.

Magnus was still with his eyes closed, looking like he was in a kind of bliss. _He’s so, so handsome_. Magnus finally opened his eyes with a light smile on his face, but Alec kissed him again like he couldn’t control himself anymore. _He couldn’t_.

This time, the kiss was definitely more intense, less pure. Alec grasped Magnus’ head in his hands just as Magnus tangled his fingers in Alec’s hair. They couldn’t be closer even if they wanted to ( _Alec definitely wanted to_ ). Their arms were a big mess, stretched at the weirdest angles, trying to fit properly without breaking the kiss. Ale opened his mouth and Magnus turned them around, pushing Alec to the door.

Alec groaned. _Wow_.

They continued kissing for what felt like hours but just seconds at the same time, like a warm memory. Alec wasn’t sure if he was doing it right, his tongue was already feeling numb and he bet his lips were red and swollen. Magnus bit his bottom lip and that was _it_ for the younger boy.

Alec threw his head back, smashing it into the door and letting a loud sigh leave his mouth.

“Sorry, I’m so hot”

“Yeah, you are”

Alec groaned again but then smiled. _He’s going to be death of me_.

He looked into Magnus’ eyes and just _watched_ him. His pupils were dilated, his lips swollen, his hair a complete mess. _You are the hot one here_.

Magnus exhaled loudly, “Thank you for coming”, he said while straightening Alec’s collar.

“Why did you portal us to the institute?”

“What do you mean?”

“I… I was actually hoping we’d come back here, not the institute”

“Bad boy, Alexander”. That made Alec laugh. “I didn’t want to scare you off, and when you greeted your sister and ignored me I thought I had already messed everything up and that you wanted to get rid of me”

Alec shook his head letting Magnus know that wasn’t the reason why, “I… I don’t know, it scared me how ready I was for things to go further, _well_ , I was actually scared of you wanting the same thing”

“You’re amazing, darling. Thank you for coming, thank you for opening yourself up to me. I feel lucky”

Alec kissed him again, but now it was just a quick peck. And then another. _Okay_.

They both smiled.

“I think I should go”

“You can stay”

Alec blushed. _That look on his eyes, though: breathtaking._

“I _should_ go”

“Okay”

They detangled themselves from each other and stepped away from the door for Alec to open it.

When he could already feel the cold, he looked at Magnus one last time and lunged forward once again. He covered both of his shoulders with his right arm and felt Magnus’ arms all the way around his middle, hugging him. They kissed again and it felt like they’d been years apart from each other. That kiss took all the air Alec had in his system and his lips actually started to hurt from how hard they were pressed to Magnus’. _I should go, I have to go. _

Alec stepped away from Magnus. Maybe he had more strength in him that he thought.

They shared a private smile, just for each other.

“Bye”

“Go tell your sister what a great kisser you are”

Alec went red once again and even chuckled.

“ _Bye_ , Mags”

-*-

What Alec missed though, was the way Magnus closed the door and leaned onto it, smiling like a teenager.

“Oh, Ragnor, you’d be so proud of me”

_Someday, someone will come along who will tear down those walls you’ve built around your heart. And when that love comes back to you, you must do everything in your power to fight for it._

**Author's Note:**

> So... Yeah, that happened. Thank you for reading, it means a lot.


End file.
